The importance of communication in and out of the bedroom cannot be overstated. This is especially true when working with BDSM. When it comes to discussing kinky wants, “having a solid practise of open communication in place is vital to success,”. Of course, talking about sex might be a bit nerve-wracking to begin with. What does she suggest? Slow and steady wins the race. Talk about the things you like about each other that aren’t related to sex. Finally, get into the naughty stuff. There are a few things couples need to keep in mind while they’re considering their choices. “Negotiations, limits, and permission are all things you want to speak about,” says the coach. For the best results, you should go as detailed as possible in these areas.

If you’ve agreed to something, it doesn’t mean you have to stick with it to the finish. “Explicit, passionate agreement to continue should be constantly and often included into communication,” says the author. Also, partners should vocally reaffirm one another that withdrawing permission is always alright, regardless of the circumstances. “.

There may be an end in sight to the sex and the scene. However, more work remains. When it comes to BDSM, “aftercare” refers to the post-play tenderness and attention that is provided between couples. Things like these should be discussed in advance if there are any special requirements that you want addressed. A good moment to discuss the scenario is now. Once again, go back to step one to discuss what worked and what didn’t, as well as how you may do it again.